How do people manage to say those words to someone they love? It must be hard, harder than we’ll ever know. When someone who loves us has to go, it breaks not only us who are being left but also the person who’s saying goodbye. Once we get a hold of something, it’s hard for us to let go. This is desiccating. We just feel empty. There will always be a space in our lives which will never be filled again.
When someone we love says that he or she has to go, we get to hold them for a while then eventually let go of them. That’s it. We walk away with heavy hearts and flashing memories. We stifle our tears because when we let go of people, we should do our best to minimize the pain of everyone. And when it dawns on us- the truth of having someone missing in our lives, we weep. We weep for the unlived moments, untaken chances, and unknown possibilities. But more importantly, we weep for all the times we haven’t spent with them when we had the chance to do so.
It is so important to give a portion of our time, which is our lives, to the people we love. Sooner or later, they will go. After they leave, all we have is traces of memories that will forever be treasured.
I want to feel how the core of the earth boils itself until its heat reaches the crust which we step on to. I want to feel the rage of the limpid water on the uncrossed oceans. I want to feel the burning lava catapulted out of the vast mouth of erupting, silent volcanoes. I want to feel the falling sky, whipping wind, and breaking heart. I want to feel.
Before death comes…
I want to tell you how beautiful you are. I want to show you how quixotic I’ve become since I saw your subtle smiles. I want to hold your hand, trace its lines and roughness until I memorize it as if I’ll have it forever. I want to kiss all the scratches and stitches on your body, you’ll never have to doubt about your existence again. I want to utter the words “I love you, really.”
If love has its own GPS, I would love to know where it is.
I always tell myself that I am just taking the long road towards love but this morning, I wrote: Maybe love is taking the long road, too.
Maybe love is not like the sun which comes out every day and stays for a little while. Maybe love is like an eclipse which only appears once a year, decade, or century; we patiently wait for it and even if it takes a long time before its appearance, we believe it’s all going to be worth it because its beauty is beyond our expectations. But unlike the fleeting eclipse, love stays. It enjoys the transcendental journey of being united. It shows itself for the people to see; love isn’t afraid of being seen. Love is expressive so it needs a lot of time to prepare.
Maybe love is every car in the Epifanio Delos Santos Avenue. It loses its patience too but it can do nothing about it so it drifts to somnolence where it finds solace, then after some time love wakes up only to see that it’s stuck in the same place. It looks around and realizes that many other ‘loves’ are stuck there with it; love whispers, “I hope my lovers are waiting. I hope they see that other people are waiting for love like they do.” Then love gets out of its place and finds out that some loves died on the way because of over-speeding, overtaking, or killing. Maybe those are the ‘loves’ of the people who rushed it. Maybe those are the ‘loves’ of the people who chose another lover because real love is taking too long. Maybe those are the ‘loves’ of people who aren’t meant for each other. Right now, I hope love doesn’t run out of gasoline.
Maybe love forms like a diamond. It is composed of ordinary elements like Carbon in a diamond. Talking with each other, listening to crazy stories, smiling for each other’s little success, making time for each other, eating together, laughing at ourselves, hugging, and sitting- these are the carbons of love. And as time passes by, we may not realize it but we already are creating something bigger out of these little moments. Like a diamond, love takes time. Its composition doesn’t have to be extraordinary. It needs pressure. And pressure, in this case, is the choices we make for love.
Maybe love is taking the long road, too. I would love to know where it is. After knowing where it is, I’ll leave it to itself because I believe that love knows its journey and destination. Love knows when to arrive. I just want to make sure that it’s on its way and that it’s safe. I once thought: gloomy is a heart waiting for its love. But now, I can say that the idea of love, arriving on time for the right people, is exhilarating.
We witness a lot of things every time we open our eyes. We see the azure sky, aureate sun, dancing leaves, singing birds, blooming flowers, happy smiles, and dreamy eyes. Inside us is a profuse flow of hope that the day will be great. The morning precipitates in us a feeling of exhilaration.
Mornings aren’t the same every day; our morning this day may be gloomy then happy the next day. We really don’t know. What’s important here is what we do with every morning of our lives. Will we use it to remind ourselves how blessed we are? Will we use it to ruin the morning of others? Will we use it to teach something new to ourselves?
It’s our choice. We choose what we do with our mornings. We choose what we do for the rest of the day. We choose the way we want to live our lives.
There is a season for everything. What we should be doing at the age of 19 is not the same as what we’ll do when we turn 29. Summer wear will never be appropriate for winter. A baby doesn’t climb a tree because it’s not yet the season for him to do so.
One day, I was walking through a busy city with a person who has a busy mind then all of a sudden this person asked me:
WHEN DO WE CROSS?
This question made me realize something- there will always be a right time.And when we fail to follow the pace and timing of things, we’ll only suffer from unnecessary pain and face a distorted shape of ourselves and our lives.
The moment we ask this question and realize the path we have to go through, we can never disregard the presence of the unknown. We’ll see the precarious bridge that tells us to never step on it and just remain standing in place. Under this bridge is a deep body of water that serves as an abyss of enigmatic pain and pleasure. And at the other side is a mountain of new experiences that will help us grow.
We know that to cross is to leave what’s behind us and to run after something which we don’t know about. But the important side of crossing is knowing that there’s a lot of surprises for us and that we have a future. I tell you, in life, there’s nothing better than overcoming our fears and finding out about our destinywith the world and with people.