The sun has hurt my eyes all my days. I’ve never seen anything brighter than it. I wonder when will I find something that’s too beautiful but I know will never hurt me. Is there such thing?
And wait again.
And now I start taking deep breaths.
And I feel how numb my feet have become.
But I wait.
Still, I wait.
With heavy heart and shambling body, I wait.
In every rising of the sun, I hope. There are moments when I stare at the azure sky and I wonder if you stare at it too. You should. I hope you do, it’s the only thing which makes me feel that we’re close to each other. In this labyrinth of lifeless people and empty words and nonsensical thoughts and I; I can’t bear to carry the idea that I won’t have you.
This is my first question- how will you hold my heart? I want you to carry it with wild gentleness. And become the storyteller I’ve always wanted to hear. You have to hold it with all your courage. Because I am heavy, love. I am heavy.
But I think this weight has helped me so much. Without this, I wouldn’t have waited for you. I don’t like waiting. But right now I would always want to carry a weight, any burden, any heaviness, even a ton of all the unpleasant things this world could do to me. I wouldn’t mind being weighed down. Because you lift me up. You’re here.
Enough. After everything, we’re here.